"Santa Clause has issued a lifetime Christmas present embargo on Darren P Smith, in a first-ever announcement of this kind, after claiming that he was "absolutely appalled" by Darren Smith's behaviour over the last year. According to one of Santa's inner circle of elves, the Polar Paper: "I've never seen Santa so enraged. He was so enraged that his cheeks went crimson and his beard was coated in flecks of spittle. Darren Smith must have done something very wrong to get him so enraged. A lifetime prohibition on Christmas presents, for example, is unheard of! ". There has been much speculation about what Darren Smith did to enrage Santa, but no one knows for sure. "

• Delete the negative; accentuate the positive!
• The great thing about fashion is that it always looks forward.
• Fashion moves so quickly that, unless you have.
• I have an obsession with details and pattern.